Auntie Emiko: Renaissance Woman of Imari.

An in depth look at my fascinating pseudo aunt.

I am blessed with a gigantic family. I have 4 aunts and uncles on my dad's side, and a ridiculous 11 on mom's side, one of whom has unfortunately passed. As it turns out, I had a bonus aunt this whole time and I didn't even know it, in the one place I would least expect. From the suburban town of Imari on Kyushu island, which is eerily similar to Novato, California, allow me to introduce one Emiko Kitamura.

The Greeks upheld the notion of an ideal mind within an ideal body, and Emiko embodies that lofty standard. She displays a cat like agility that would leave the mouths of American senior citizens positively agape. A spry 77 years old, she makes daily bicycle treks to the city library and public baths, as well as a 3 km daily walk that has to be seen to be believed. It starts normally enough among the drab low rent apartment buildings that she calls home, but then she takes a short cut by JUMPING DOWN A FOUR FOOT CONCRETE EMBANKMENT. What the hell was that? There's a goddamn ninja in the family. The route then continues in a normal fashion on a dirt road past the local reservoir and rice fields. However, on the way back she does something even more ridiculous. To train for balance, she walks along another concrete embankment 6 inches wide, with a steep hill on one side, and a 5 FOOT DROP ONTO PAVEMENT ON THE OTHER. I believe it's time for Auntie Emiko to put in her audition tape for Ninja Warrior. My God!!!

In addition to these physical feats, she works out her mind with equal fervor. She can quote Nietzsche and Goethe, as well the works of Freud and Jung. She can rattle off the Buddhist Heart Sutra in an instant, which is like 2 and a half Our Fathers in archaic Japanese, as well as recite Pi to several dozen places. She is an avid reader, and she seems to have inherited the ebullient bubbliness of her favorite Buddhist author, Japucho Setouchi, who is like the female Dalai Lama of Japan. If you don't use it you lose it, and Auntie Emiko has taken that philosophy to heart.

And did I mention that she's a published author? I believe Bungeisha picked up her memoirs and published the damn thing, hardcover and all the fixins. Despite moving around 900 units for a cool 10,000 dollars in profit, Emiko has seen only about 180 bucks! I thought that the music industry exploited its artists, but they look like benevolent orphanage nuns compared to the publishing industry. Emiko's son Ted Kitamura even penned the postscript, in which he mentions my 2013 visit to Japan! I'm famous in Japan!!! Just like Jennifer Love Hewitt!!! My WB sitcom cant be far behind. Most memoirs are so boring that they would put God to sleep, because there's no real conflict. You went to school, you got married, you got into the plastics industry, you had 2.5 kids and a dog. Where's the drama? The pathos? The tribulations, and the triumph? If your life goes exactly according to plan, it may be pleasant, but it doesn't make for much of a story. On the other hand, Emiko has been cursed to have lived an interesting life.

Auntie Emiko's weathered face tells a story of both soul crushing heartbreak, as well as perseverance and joy. There are many words to describe the process of raising a multi racial child as a single parent in xenophobic 1970s Japan. The last word you would use to describe that is Easy. Her lips and chin are marked by deep grooves, evidence of a face clenched with tears. Yet her eyes are surrounded by wrinkles that indicate a life of laughter. Emiko's name means Laughing Child, and she seems to have learned the hard way how to appreciate the smallest moments of happiness in life. Whether its talking to her son on the phone, going to the library to see how many people checked out her book (about 7 this year, which she's overjoyed about) or taking care of my dumb ass, Auntie Emiko stays upbeat no matter the situation. She is a hoot to be around, and our awkward Japlish discussions run the gamut from Greek mythology all the way to Japanese history and the troubling rise of ISIS. We even came up for a nickname for Mickey Mouse, after it turned out that some Disney stationary she bought is unusable because a poorly placed graphic obscures the address area. That nickname is Baka Nezumi, or Stupid Mouse, or depending on the context, That Frickin Mouse. Baka Nezumi! On top of all this, she bakes her own bread! Cheaper I guess. What the hell have I done today?
If your heart of ore and gravel can survive the merciless forge of trauma and sadness, you may be lucky enough to be blessed with a heart of steel, one that shines even brighter in the midst of the flames. Auntie Emiko's heart is truly a Fullmetal Heart. That's an anime reference by the way. Till Next Time